Where is the line
Or the point
Where sadness becomes too much to bear
And the mind seizes to recognize
all that exists.

Colors become monotone.
And sounds are flat.

People move and
I’m almost enlightened
Pulled far away from
my problems
and life
and body

Watching the shapes around me form
Miraculously like art
I don’t want to ruin it
The art of life
I watch and I walk and I watch
As a breeze pushes my hair forward I
Perhaps this would be a good spot
To jump.



Committed to self and committed to life
Committed to pain and committed to strife

On and off I flip between
Creative lush and sallow gloom
The void is wide

As I leap between states of being
The gap, a boundary

Established by pain and fear
self-hate and dejection
and loss

The self split
Constantly in variance
Allows for greatness yet
Wreaks havoc within

Don’t come near me
Because once you come too close
We’ll both


yogurt love

Smooth love and chunky hate
a pile of emotional yogurt
that’s slightly spoiled

curdling bits of lumpy distaste
floating in a creamy cup of connection
rich and thick

feelings roam
until the cultures churn
then turn.

Cup gets soggy
and milk gets warm
until it’s gone completely bad.


Memory, a dissonance of past movements and thoughts
fragmented and pieced back together
with emotional glue.

Sentiments and shards line the cortex
waiting for the moment when a sensory impulse

For when the right chord is struck
reverberations move through that muddled column
reaching to the historic place where
time is unreal.

Past, present and anticipation for future meld into
one note.

The recollection of memory, an art
of the soul and mind.


Cry Cry Burn Slash
these are the pains I rehash
Tear Tear Blood Drool
I’m festering in a bile filled pool
wretched in filth
my existance is vile
as I lay in ruins
complete in denial
squirming and sneering
into a mirror I smile
eyes watching eyes
staring all the while

the corners of my mouth
smirk sharply, it aches
the skin on my face
tears, rips and steaks
a plunge to the heart
my creases do fold
another wrinckle formed
another lie told
and no one’s around
for me to hold
not even my body
now rigid and cold.

Inner Ocean

halt this.
lurching in my stomach.
the swelling
wave of defeat
knows no end.
when time passes
and water calms
is when temptation arises.
so i jump
and get swept away.
into your pulling
unknowing you thrash
yet i stay.
all for you.

Alone Together

A pain
A stab
This unlifting weight
Pulls and rips me

Dull and sharp
Skin tearing
Water leaking
Beds creaking

Breathing echoes with the shadows

No feathery movements
No cradle nor hug

Curled inward
Self protectant

No room for warmth to slip in

No space
Arms contract

Orfices drool

And finally… Eyes


Hollow chest echoes deeply
It’s resonance is unending.
Rib cage lined with narrow cartilage
Caressing the barreling emptiness
As limitless silence resides within.

Unable to expel,
Stagnant this cycle lies.

Fated to churn pain and emptiness
For the eternity of its being.
Until, at last, bones decay
Hollow cavernous chest dissembles
And no longer is air trapped.

The wordless silence
Ceases to exist.


This Failing Falling Brewing Force
Until When Will I Feel Such Remorse